Greetings terrans. I hope you are as festive and excited for your holidays as I am. (My deep sympathies for those whose Christmas comes mixed with something less cheery this year.) I was just browsing your newly renewed twitter, and I saw some mentions of Santa. The Bee had a Calvinist Santa video up. Another put up a Santa political chart. Both were horribly off. Now, I know it's all in good fun, but I hate to see a good man misrepresented, and that is not what the man is like. I know. I first met him, two terran years ago. So, I rummaged through some things and found my old journal entry on the meeting. Enjoy.
I visited old friends on Christmas, and- well, even being against the ideologuery of the ruling elite, I am still welcome in town. The trouble is that due to the nature of that realm, I must resort to projecting a kind avatar, and that is exhausting. (The things we do for friends, amirite?)
Naturally, I decided to visit the inn, and per a long-running gag, I intended on entering it through the fireplace. This time I was smart and donned me some flame-retardant overalls that I'd left hidden on the roof. But, just as I got ready to climb down, someone else approached with the same idea! Then, I recognized him.
“Sir, no, I must insist. After you!”
I stepped out of the fireplace, and he was already busy at work. I tried to play it cool and not fan-boy. I even went to the bar for a round, but then I had to offer him one out of courtesy.
“Care for a drink? Umm, milk and cookies? No? Maybe a White Russian? Not while you're flying? Got it.”
I downed his cocktail, threw my Christmas cards under the tree, and crossing back to the fireplace, I braved me a request:
“Since we're both going up, mind if I ride shot gun? I have a question about elves,” (which was true, actually). So, yielding again to my senior, I scurried second.
Up on the rooftop, the sleigh made me wonder how I'd missed it before. When I got in, I looked for a seat belt but instead I found Santa to be very libertarian.
Then, I asked him: “So, the North Pole. We talking more Keebler or Tolkien?” and he didn't kick me out. He laughed, and it echoed off the town as we took off.
So, I missed out on meeting me old friends, but I figure, when we do catch up, it'll be more fun now.
Merry Christmas.
-Pen
Ti 17, 7382